C'mon Bare Your Soul

I've been putting off writing for the last year partly because I've been too damn tired, but also because I've just had too much to say and the thought of writing it all down seemed such a daunting task that I simply couldn't bare it. But then every day I would have these ideas, these questions, these concerns, these pervasive and unending thoughts that I just wanted to get out of me. So here I am gettin' them out.

I've often wondered (and I'm sure this topic has been done to death in blogger world - but since I have been out of blogger world and still don't quite understand the ins and outs of it anyway, I'm going to give it a final kill), what is a blog? What is the purpose? What does it do? What do I do with it? Why would I do whatever it is that I do do with it with it? And the questions go on. When my husband first mentioned livejournal to me a few years ago I asked out loud - why the hell would someone put their journal online for everyone to see? Doesn't that defeat the pourpose of a journal? Isn't a journal supposed to be a place for us to unload our most private thoughts and deepest yearnings? Won't the integrity of our thoughts be compromised when we know that they will be shared with the world? I used to think so but maybe not. Maybe we have all been too private. Maybe this puritanical society in which we have been raised has divided us by silencing us. So many topics that shouldn't be discussed in mixed company, ideas that are better left dormant, feelings that touch too deep... meanwhile we are quitely suffocated by fear. What is it, exactly, that we are afraid of? What would happen if we just put ourselves out there and bared our souls for all to see? What could possibly happen? Would some horrible fate befall us? Would civilization crumble at the mere sharing of thoughts, feelings, and ideas? Isn't this what philosophy was born of? Might we find that we all actually share common bonds? Could it be that even those who don't think they think about "those things" might actually think about them too and then feel freed to come clean about it? Might this be the perfect way for all of us to begin living actual authentic lives? Could this be a way to bring us all closer together as we see that we are all not so different? Okay, and what of our differences - after all, they are what make us individuals? Is it possible that, we through our differences, might begin to question and learn and possibly find truth? What would become of us if we did?

I don't know. But I do find the idea liberating. Journaling for everyone. An amazing concept. Let's lay it out there. Let's have ideas be born, information shared, experiences documented, feelings expressed. Let's do it all.

Okay, so most of you already get this... but give me a break, I'm just catching up :).

Finally

So, it's been well over a year since my last post... but I have thought of you often, Blogspot. I have missed this place. This wonderful space to think out loud and maybe be heard. So let me catch myself up on the last year...

Oh, to hell with that. Who can remember their first year with a baby? I can tell you this. He is amazing. I have not slept since 2005. He's still amazing. My body has been ravaged and is only now slowly starting to spring back again. It was worth it. My heart now beats outside of me for everyone to see. Thank you Roo. The joy is unending, the awe is inspiring, the journey is a gift. Back in 2004 my New Year's resolution was to find more grace in my life. Finally, it's been found.

And that's 2006 in a nutshell. Oh, and I became an Itsy Bitsy Yoga Teacher... but that's a whole other story.